I’ve been a bit blogless the past month or so and now that I think the worst is over (fat chance) I can tell you why. We moved-I know that will make some of you weep just remembering your own moves, but here’s the rest of my story-and yes, I’ve been weeping myself this past week. One meltdown was so amazing I wish someone had seen it so I could put it on YouTube and then get on Oprah or Ellen or whoever is still left doing that kind of thing.
A little less than two years ago it dawned on me that the world was pushing me around a little too harshly. It suddenly felt like everyone was driving my life but me and it seemed as if the people who were driving had lost the road map. I took a look around my world and decided it was time for some changes. I was also in a car with an automatic transmission and I love to drive stick. That’s a sure sign it’s time to bail.
I started tossing things out the window as I tried to regain control of the steering wheel. One day I walked around the bigass house, with all the stuff inside of it, and all the work that was part of the deal, the bills that followed right behind too, and said, “This is pretty stupid, Kris.” I’ve never been big on “stuff”. I cry when I see butterflys and the people behind this new building who dig through the dumpster every night. I am big on emotion, and laughing, and a great view. Priceless and so easy on my little bank account.
The kids are flying, my partner agreed it was time to seriously dance naked and walk the talk, and we sold way more than half of everything. We had a two-day yard sale and I watched the little pieces of my life float away for a quarter, a nickle, and an occasional dollar. Someone even bought an old pair of slippers. I cried a bit but I’m not sure I was really sad.(I’m lying.) It took eight months after that to sell the house and all but my desk, a couch, a bed and a few chairs and things. The woman who bought the house is already my friend and is reading her way through my novels as part of her own healing process. Her husband died in an accident a few months ago. This was a huge sign that I was heading in the right direction.
The hardest part of the whole deal has been parting with my personal library, which I already wrote about, but I know they are all in very good hands. My heart hurts a bit just to write this part.
Now we are renting a condo that is less than half the size of the house. I live in the city again for the first time in, geeze, thirty-plus years. Right now I can look out and see the blue bay, tall buildings, and I am twelve stories closer to the clouds and my beloved birds. That’s all I know about this new place for now. I will keep you posted. I think, as my friend Joan says, “It’s all about the view, Kris.” and this is a pretty damn good view. And the garbage thing is right down the hall!
You know me as the queen of change, empowerment, and openness and I didn’t want you all to think I had fallen and couldn’t get up. My knees, legs, arms, and hands are bruised from the move but I’m falling head first into Phase 690 of my life.
And I’ve got my hand on the stick shift baby. Get out of the road because I’m coming fast, the windows are down, and that wild laugh you hear is from the driver of the Radish bus.
I’m already in third gear…..